Life as a non ordinary human

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Just writing

You know? I have problems (we all have) but that doesn’t stop me from smiling, I know it’s the best thing I can do in those situations, but some months ago, I just didn’t care anymore for my problems, I just keep thinking about one thing, let’s call it “she”, she was a good friend of mine, she knew me damn well, (here is when things become deep) she was the only one (at this moment) to know me, you know what I mean? she knows me from head to toe, likes and dislikes, all the things I was afraid of telling to someone, because I didn’t like to talk about me, I find myself quite boring and maybe weird for some people(old/new friends, family) to understand me, but, she managed somehow to make me talk, make me trust, make me be myself, and plus, she seemed to be interested in all the things I used to talk or say, she has very interesting likes and I was interested in hearing all about her, we couldn’t stand a day without talking to the other, at some point I was afraid of being in love with “she”, but, when I thought about that, I really believed that it wasn’t bad, so, after some months of knowing each other, talk about random stuff and somehow flirting with each other, we became a couple, I was happy, I was more than happy, I felt like all my problems were partially gone, I didn’t know why, because I still had my problems; we had some good times, some bad times but mostly good, we ended up in a codependency, and we thought it wasn’t really a bad thing, I was a good bf and she was a good gf, we were together for like 19 months, well, this year we had some good times, I don’t think we had a fight or something like that but, we, we broke up, and I wasn’t prepared for this, I remember I asked for some explanation, she didn’t answer, and we decided to still be friends (maybe it was a dumb decision, or I was friendzoned) but yeah, I agreed with that, but it isn’t the same, I know things would change but I didn’t know it would change a lot, we were happy together in a relationship at least it seemed like it, I miss her, I know we are still friends but I miss her, I miss the girl who was interested in all my things and likes and stupid news about what I did in my day, I miss that girl that made me talk and talk about me, I miss being interested in all the things she used to talk, now I don’t know who I am talking to, it’s just a friend, some friend that I don’t trust, I don’t lose the faith, I know this is some stupid, and awful thing to do but, I still think I can be with “she”, because I love her, and I don’t think anyone can replace that girl. And if you are looking at this (maybe you are) I still think about you because I love you.